Report by Kitty Rulez, Petty Crime Correspondent
A staring incident between Papa Porky and Kootoo, the resident Monstah at Hougang Hills 09519, resulted in bloodshed and loss of superficial skin yesterday.
Papa Porky was severely mauled by du Monstah, who very nearly punctured Papa Porky's veins on his left wrist, and left a lovely 4 cm scar.
For his act of terror, du Monstah was put in a kitty restraint.
Cat quote of the day:
What is the appeal about cats?" he said kindly. "I've always wanted to know." "They don't care if you like them. They haven't the slightest notion of gratitude, and they never pretend. They take what you have to offer, and away they go.
- Mavis Gallant
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1 comment:
The prosection submits that the above is not true!
Da monstah didnt nearly puncture my veins - he did! and it wasnt a superficial scratch - it was a nasty slice across the wrist that could have rivalled any IMH wannabe's best attempt!
And last of all - dat wasnt a restraint bag in the picture - its of him in his favourite mama piggy's handbag.
His punishment will be slow but sure - when his fur all drops off one day, you'll know why.
Either I'll have added a sack of salt to his Hill Science or taken a blunt scapel to him.
Nice mini tiger pelt anyone?
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