The death of a loved one is a gift - it teaches us the true meaning of life and love, so that we, the living, can value the purpose of life, and celebrate its beauty.
So says Ajahn Brahm at his talk "Losing Loved Ones" this evening at the Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery.
Of course, it is and never will be easy to see a loved one pass on and not grief.
For me, it felt as if a part of me died too when my father passed away some 14 years ago. I was into my second year of undergraduate study when my father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. His health deteriorated rapidly after an operation, and within months, he left us. It was tough coming to terms with it because I was the youngest child and he doted on me. What have I done for him to repay his love and care? He had worked so hard all his life, and was just getting ready to retire and enjoy life, but Death robbed him of his well deserved rest. I was resentful, and allowed myself to grief for a protracted period of time.
My father's death had been "premature" - I was not ready. But will we ever be ready for death?
Ajahn Brahm says we don't cry for the person who pass away, we cry for ourselves - we are not ready to let go. The dead wouldn't want us to be sad. In fact, they want us to let go and be happy.
To love, therefore, is to let go.
Death is not the end. We shall meet each other again, in another time, another space.
What "unfinished business" do Kootoo and Mama Piggy have in their past lives that brings them together again in this life?
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8 comments:
Well said Mama Piggy.
As morbid as this may sound, death should be rejoiced as our departed loved one no longer suffers and has the opportunity to reborn - as a better being.
Now I wish I had attended Ajahn Brahm's talk :-)
Veganmeowies and I were sitting just behind AB! Indeed it was a marvellous talk as usual and I was relating to Chaoscat this morning, that I finally found out from AB what "transference of merits" to a deceased person means..i.e. to be a good person, to do good and bring joy to the person who had passeed out. AB said his father would be so proud of what he has done in his life so far.
Mama P is very pretty!!
Kootoo has the most precious expression.
Mama Piggy has been exposed. Opps...
probably a "pact" that you'd made with kootoo in your past lives, like a promise that you'll take good care of him in the next life ie: the present. 'cos of some wrong/misdeed you did?
er, does that make sense? like how i'm convinced if my present love life is the result of my past actions --> probably i was a lothario or summat :D
I guess this post really spooked some readers, who asked me in private if anything happened. Nothing really, it's just one of those moody moments, and reflections on life/deathm and the fact that most of us do not prepare for Death, the ultimate journey which all of us have to go through.
Anonymous, whatever it is that brought Kootoo and me (or anybody else for that matter) together, what's more important is that we cherish our time in this life, and may we accumulate enough good merits to meet again in future.
" What "unfinished business" do Kootoo and Mama Piggy have in their past lives that brings them together again in this life? "
To love, therefore, is to let go.
Not letting go is the "unfinished business" that will result in willingly or non-willingly attaching together again.
The day we start to reflect on death is the day we begin to live.
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